"I find your lack of faith disturbing"- Darth Vader


It's been a while folks. So hullo and happy to have ya readin again. I wish i could report all sunshine and puppy dogs...but as the cycle of human exsistance deamnds nothing goes as all should.

Anyone who has read my journal before knows i am a sailor in the unisted states navy. Beyond that i can tell you nothing about the specifics beyond a very very vague picture.

My car ate itself a few weeks ago and my last hope after seemed to have set itself ablaze just to spite me a shiney silver ray showed itself and hoping my insurance will cover it.

As for me myself as a person and as a human. I find i ma sorely lacking. The strength i gained from ilitary traning seems to be slowly ebbing away draning me of energy and drive. I am doing well so i have to admit i am confused. how can i be doing so well and at the same time be slowly fading. Am i just over worked? under sleeping?

I don't know. I am keeping up my dailey routine and good humor but under it i feel i am slipping away form who i am. and that is my problem i REFUSE utterly and totaly to give up who i am. nothing is worth that. I am only the sum of who i have come to be and i will trade nothing for it. If The woman i once loved were to show up tommrow asking to be taken back and tell me she was willing to do all i ever wanted of her i would not take it if it meant giving up who i was. Does that make sense to anyone?

Why do i keep asking questions on here? no one has ever responded to anything i ask on here.

Suffice it to say folks. I am giving it my all. Trying my best. Giving it the old heave Ho and driving all my ebergy against a brick wall that seems to be immovable. But that does not mean i will stop..:::Sigh::: unfourtunatly part of who i am is a person that will throw himself all at one goal until it kills him or said goal is attained.